DOES THIS THING HAVE AN OFF BUTTON?!?!?

DOES THIS THING HAVE AN OFF BUTTON?!?!?

I'm not talking about a toy, or anything else that is really annoying that you usually would just throw against a wall to get it to stop making noise. OH NO!!! We're talking about my almost 3 year old Nephew, that's right we're talking about my little baby Asher. I had no plans for last night and my brother and my sister-in-law really wanted to go see a movie, later my dad joined them, lucky for them they were seeing a movie I had already seen. (the new fast and furious)

So I agree to watch the little twerpous, not knowing that by the end of the night I would be begging for death. Now I do not like children at all, I do not want ANY of my own, I prefer to be able to give them back when they get on my nerves. Back to last night, before my dad left we put in Shrek thinking he would just stand in front of the TV completely dazed like normal... NOPE!! He decided to go into the kitchen and remove all the Tupperware lids from the drawer and line them up. We then pulled out his buildy-blocks and put all the same kinds together, well usually after he puts them together I tear them apart and we do it all over... this time.. he wasn't having it!!! He looked at me as if to say "you b!tch" and then preceded to start crying where I automatically start putting them back together hoping the crying would stop and it did after he realized what I was doing.

We decided Shrek wasn't working so we decided to put in his favorite movie Alvin and the Chipmunks, however, that didn't seem to work or get his attention either. I text my brother and asked him if Asher had eaten yet and he said no so I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and he ate all of it by himself and him and I shared some Cheese-its. He also drank about a small glass of milk. Finally my dad had to leave and my mom went outside to do some stuff... by this time I was already exhausted, but I got to watching the movie and I was thinking "wait a minute... I don't hear Asher..." so I start looking around for him and my search leads me into the bathroom where he had decided that all the toilet paper needed to be unrolled... spanking number 1.

After my mom came in and I told her to check out the mess she rolled up all the TP and decided she was gonna jump in the shower... and I decided we needed to change the movie or I was never gonna make it. Luckily for me, around Christmas I ordered a Disney Sing-Along-Songs video, my favorite one, Disneyland Fun "it's a small world after all", and luckily it happens to be one of Asher's favorite movies to watch... OVER AND OVER AND OVER but it gets him to stay in front of the TV and he just loves to dance to it. It kept him entertained for about 3 times of watching it, but I started to go a little crazy and so I put Alvin and the Chipmunks back on and didn't watch much of it because me and Asher got into this game where I would pretend like I'm not looking in the living room and he would run past me into the kitchen and then I would follow and chase him in there then he would run past me back to the recliner and then he'd jump up on it and I would tickle him, and then... we would do it over again, and again, and again.(The whole time my mother being in the office hearing the noise of us running thinking "what the heck is going on out there")

Finally I was worn out and so I sat on the couch and then I realized I really needed to use the restroom so I went to the office and said "mom can you watch him while I go potty?!" and she was like "sure but is he really that bad" and I was like "OH YEAH!!!!" she laughed at me and then went to entertain the boy while I went to "the room". For about the last half hour to forty five minutes my mom sort of helped me with watching him, most of the time just watching me... at some point she went back into the office.

Just after that Asher decided he no longer wanted to wear his shirt or his diaper and went running with it off. So I was like OK and I went and found the diaper which he had peed in so I was like OK new diaper. I changed him and my mom came out of the room and looked at me funny and I told her how he decided to join a nudest colony and she just laughed. So I got the new diaper on him and let him run and my mom went back into the office not 1 minute later he had the diaper off again and was running around nakey, except this time when I tried to put the diaper back on he was arching his back and making it nearly impossible for be to get it on... spanking number 2. So mom came out and was like "whats the smacking about" and I told her he wouldn't let me put the diaper back on so I told her to grab his pants and maybe he wouldn't take his clothes off if he had pants on (I had earlier taken off his other pants because they were making his diaper sag) so we had to deal with him being a pill as we tried to get his little sweatpants on. and finally I let him up and he still had his lip pushed out from when I had spanked him.. but then he went and got his shirt and handed it to me and let me put it on.

After a little while he decided he was just don't and he went over to one of our end tables and laid under it, not crying not fussing just laying there peacefully and relaxed. About ten minutes later my dad showed up from the movie so I knew my brother and sister would be close behind. So we just let Asher lay there till Josh and Tiffany showed up and they came in and they started talking, and... POP up comes Asher looking over the recliner and he walked lids half closed to Tiffany and she picked him up and he looked like he was ready to crash and burn, but truth be told so was I. So they left we sat there talking and my mom said she was surprised at how well I had done and how I had taken care of him pretty much all by myself. I don't mind babysitting him... but I cannot wait until he is 4 or 5 it might be a little easier.

Mystery Dinner?!?!?

Tonight... what a night!!! Me and my cousin Raven went to what is called a Mystery Dinner with my grandparents. Let me explain, there are 12 names of things, both food and utensils, disguised as weird names. You then break up the 12 items into 3 groups of 4 and then you are given the items in each course and also they are all removed at the end of that course, any violations will lead to prosecution (for example hiding your fork for the next course). So I am what I like to call a very good sorter, in years past I have been good at mixing the things up pretty well. Well this year... I got screwed!!!

Keep in mind that this years theme was country western....

First Course
Rawhide = Napkin
Cactus = Fork
Toad Sticker = Knife
Walt's Boot = Spoon

Second Course
Chicken Scratch = Corn
Don't Eat This = Toothpick
High Noon Results = Cherry Cobbler
Ben's Horse = Beef BBQ Rib

Third Course
Desert Sand = Corn Bread
Mongo's Leftovers = Beans
Hard Pillow = Mini Potatoes
Parched = Dried Fruit

So if you aren't already laying on the floor laughing at me, note this, my cousin decided to copy my menu name for name, so she ended up with the same configuration. Yes, the first course nothing eatable, second course not too fun eating corn with a toothpick, and third course trying to eat any of that with NO utensils at all. But truth be told you don't go for the food, you go for the fun and the entertainment which was still fun as ever but lacking in comparison to previous years. All in all we had a fun night and Raven and I ended up with cowgirl straw hats, mine pink hers regular ugly straw color =]

My Mama

The woman who brought me into this world and has raised me for the last 18 1/2 years is an amazing woman. She never puts herself first, for the last couple years and especially this year and last, her main passion has been restoring forgotten and neglected horses. She does all she can, our barn is full and we have two horses in our arena out front of our house, but if she could and we had the means, she would save as many as she could... but she just cannot save them all though she wishes she could.

My mother and I are VERY VERY close, and many people especially my friends and I think even some of my moms, are envious of how close we are. I am 18 and I still kiss my mama, and most people find that weird but that's just me and my mom. She and I rarely ever fight, most of the fights are between me and my step dad, but at the end of the day he and I still love each other cause I am his baby girl and he is the man who raised me when my real dad wasn't around.

Anyways back to me and my mom, for my 18Th birthday my mom and dad paid for my very first tattoo, $87 dollars later i had permanent black and pink ink in my shoulder(picture below), and my mom wanted one, she says the tweak she would make is that hers would have purple instead of pink. My mom has one tattoo.. a single little rose right on her butt, and i wanted mine to be mine so i suggested a different mother daughter tattoo, a very cute and beautiful butterfly tattoo that goes on the top of the foot(picture below), again the only tweak we are making is that it will be pinky-purple instead of blue. My mom said that she would do it only if she could get numbed cause there was no way she was getting it without it numb(what a baby!!).

My mom has been there through EVERYTHING from the lame boyfriends who eventually brake up with me, to a life changing car crash that helped make me who I am, laying in the hospital bed, neck brace on trying not to bawl my eyes out for having totaled my car after barely having it for a month, who was there with me wiping my tears away and telling me that if I started crying she was gonna kick my butt, and making me laugh by telling me what a good job I did taking out the guard rail, it was my best friend, my mom. She is my guardian angel who pushes me to do better and be better.


My mom has made it abundantly clear that she will be here for me through anything and everything. She has never tried to change me or make me into some cookie cutter kid that looks like everyone else and she doesn't push me into anything she knows I don't want to do. You want to really know who my mom is, well my words cannot praise her enough, she writes the blogs of "Restoring Joy" and that can give you some insight into our situation, but that woman is the best mother, friend, shrink, family mediator, etc., that I could EVER ask for. She is simply wonderful and the only thing I would change about her is her fashion sense... cause she has NONE!!! lol None the less she is the one person I couldn't live this life without, I LOVE YOU MOM and no one and nothing could EVER EVER EVER change that!!!