DOES THIS THING HAVE AN OFF BUTTON?!?!?

DOES THIS THING HAVE AN OFF BUTTON?!?!?

I'm not talking about a toy, or anything else that is really annoying that you usually would just throw against a wall to get it to stop making noise. OH NO!!! We're talking about my almost 3 year old Nephew, that's right we're talking about my little baby Asher. I had no plans for last night and my brother and my sister-in-law really wanted to go see a movie, later my dad joined them, lucky for them they were seeing a movie I had already seen. (the new fast and furious)

So I agree to watch the little twerpous, not knowing that by the end of the night I would be begging for death. Now I do not like children at all, I do not want ANY of my own, I prefer to be able to give them back when they get on my nerves. Back to last night, before my dad left we put in Shrek thinking he would just stand in front of the TV completely dazed like normal... NOPE!! He decided to go into the kitchen and remove all the Tupperware lids from the drawer and line them up. We then pulled out his buildy-blocks and put all the same kinds together, well usually after he puts them together I tear them apart and we do it all over... this time.. he wasn't having it!!! He looked at me as if to say "you b!tch" and then preceded to start crying where I automatically start putting them back together hoping the crying would stop and it did after he realized what I was doing.

We decided Shrek wasn't working so we decided to put in his favorite movie Alvin and the Chipmunks, however, that didn't seem to work or get his attention either. I text my brother and asked him if Asher had eaten yet and he said no so I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and he ate all of it by himself and him and I shared some Cheese-its. He also drank about a small glass of milk. Finally my dad had to leave and my mom went outside to do some stuff... by this time I was already exhausted, but I got to watching the movie and I was thinking "wait a minute... I don't hear Asher..." so I start looking around for him and my search leads me into the bathroom where he had decided that all the toilet paper needed to be unrolled... spanking number 1.

After my mom came in and I told her to check out the mess she rolled up all the TP and decided she was gonna jump in the shower... and I decided we needed to change the movie or I was never gonna make it. Luckily for me, around Christmas I ordered a Disney Sing-Along-Songs video, my favorite one, Disneyland Fun "it's a small world after all", and luckily it happens to be one of Asher's favorite movies to watch... OVER AND OVER AND OVER but it gets him to stay in front of the TV and he just loves to dance to it. It kept him entertained for about 3 times of watching it, but I started to go a little crazy and so I put Alvin and the Chipmunks back on and didn't watch much of it because me and Asher got into this game where I would pretend like I'm not looking in the living room and he would run past me into the kitchen and then I would follow and chase him in there then he would run past me back to the recliner and then he'd jump up on it and I would tickle him, and then... we would do it over again, and again, and again.(The whole time my mother being in the office hearing the noise of us running thinking "what the heck is going on out there")

Finally I was worn out and so I sat on the couch and then I realized I really needed to use the restroom so I went to the office and said "mom can you watch him while I go potty?!" and she was like "sure but is he really that bad" and I was like "OH YEAH!!!!" she laughed at me and then went to entertain the boy while I went to "the room". For about the last half hour to forty five minutes my mom sort of helped me with watching him, most of the time just watching me... at some point she went back into the office.

Just after that Asher decided he no longer wanted to wear his shirt or his diaper and went running with it off. So I was like OK and I went and found the diaper which he had peed in so I was like OK new diaper. I changed him and my mom came out of the room and looked at me funny and I told her how he decided to join a nudest colony and she just laughed. So I got the new diaper on him and let him run and my mom went back into the office not 1 minute later he had the diaper off again and was running around nakey, except this time when I tried to put the diaper back on he was arching his back and making it nearly impossible for be to get it on... spanking number 2. So mom came out and was like "whats the smacking about" and I told her he wouldn't let me put the diaper back on so I told her to grab his pants and maybe he wouldn't take his clothes off if he had pants on (I had earlier taken off his other pants because they were making his diaper sag) so we had to deal with him being a pill as we tried to get his little sweatpants on. and finally I let him up and he still had his lip pushed out from when I had spanked him.. but then he went and got his shirt and handed it to me and let me put it on.

After a little while he decided he was just don't and he went over to one of our end tables and laid under it, not crying not fussing just laying there peacefully and relaxed. About ten minutes later my dad showed up from the movie so I knew my brother and sister would be close behind. So we just let Asher lay there till Josh and Tiffany showed up and they came in and they started talking, and... POP up comes Asher looking over the recliner and he walked lids half closed to Tiffany and she picked him up and he looked like he was ready to crash and burn, but truth be told so was I. So they left we sat there talking and my mom said she was surprised at how well I had done and how I had taken care of him pretty much all by myself. I don't mind babysitting him... but I cannot wait until he is 4 or 5 it might be a little easier.